Apple Oat Bars

I went to a family gathering this weekend, and there was no way I was going without a dessert. It took a few minutes' brainstorming, but I knew what I wanted to make: apple oat bars. Maybe it was being around family or maybe it was just a flashback, but when I first bit into one, I was reminded of the muffins with an apple oat topping my aunt used to get for us when we'd come visit. I loved them. I was 12 or so and didn't care much about food, but I couldn't stop raving about them. Then they changed. I knew they came from Costco, but when I finally convinced my parents to pick some up, they had changed somehow. I had almost forgotten about them, until yesterday when I sunk my teeth into these bars. Oh man were they delicious. I'm glad I snagged a piece and hid it away so I could take some pictures when I got back. I used an irregular sized baking dish for these, something like this. You can probably use a 9 by 13, but the bars will be a bit thick.

Ingredients:

• 10 oz quick oats
• 15 oz flour
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 lb brown sugar
• 12 oz butter, melted
• 2 lb granny smith apples, sliced thinly
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 3.5 oz sugar
• 2 oz butter

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Mix the oats, flour, baking soda, salt, brown sugar, and melted butter into a dough.
3. Press half of the dough into a baking dish lined with foil.
4. Toss together the apples, cinnamon, and sugar in a large bowl.
5. Spread the apples on top of the dough and place little chunks of butter on top of the apples.
6. Top with the rest of the dough and bake for 30-40 minutes, or until the top is golden brown.
7. Let cool, refrigerate for 1-2 hours, and turn out and cut.

Enjoy on their own or topped with a scoop of ice cream and caramel sauce.

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Lemon Sushi

I've always loved a good dinner of albacore and rice pudding. Something about the combo just makes my mouth water. It's never enough just for dinner, though. I always crave more when dessert comes. And now I can satisfy those cravings, with lemon rice pudding and albacore tuna together in tulipe shell for this awesome dessert sushi.

If you're still reading, I'll assume it's in some sort of revolted horror. Relax, relax, this isn't the train-wreck you're dreading. For starters, I don't even eat fish. And if I did, I'm sure I would never touch it again after eating such an... interesting... combo. I couldn't resist starting the post that way, though, since I know something like it was in the back of everyone's mind when they saw the title.

If you have had dessert sushi before, I do it a little differently. A lot of people use fruit leather as a wrapper, since it's a lot like nori, but I like a crunch with my desserts. If you like some crunch, too, eat these soon after you make them. If you wait too long, the shells get soggy, which is no fun for anyone involved.

Ingredients:

• 2 oz butter
• 2 oz powdered sugar
• 2 oz flour
• 2 oz egg whites

• 2/3 cup water
• 1/3 cup short-grain rice
• .8 fl oz lemon juice
• 1.4 oz sugar
• 1/2 tsp lemon zest
• 4 oz heavy cream
• 1 tbsp cornstarch
• 1 tbsp water

Directions:

1. First, preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Melt the butter, then stir in the sugar, followed by the flour. Then add the egg whites and stir until uniform.
3. Then prepare your stencil. Draw a rectangle of desired sushi roll size on a piece of cardboard and cut it out, saving the outside section.
4. On a baking sheet lined with parchment, place the stencil down and spoon a bit of batter into the stencil and scrape off the excess with an offset spatula.
5. Bake for approximately 6 minutes, until they start to get golden brown. When you pull them out, let them cool for 30 seconds to 1 minute. Then peel them from the paper and form them into circles. Small pieces of PVC pipe work awesome, but I also wrap them around an appropriately sized handle or into any other circle I can find. If they get too brittle and start to crack while you're working with them, throw them back in the oven for a minute or two.
6. While these harden a bit, start the rice pudding. Begin by cooking the rice in the water.
7. Once the rice is cooked, add it to a saucepan along with all of the other ingredients. Bring to a boil and boil for two minutes.
8. Fill a piping bag with a large round tip or a coupler only and pipe the rice into the shells.
9. For added sushi effect, candy strips of lemon peel and insert into the middle of the roll.

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When we mess up

For a long time before Confectious, I thought about creating a blog showcasing my kitchen disasters with a name like "Uh Oh." The kind of blog people would visit to make themselves feel better. What's that? You accidentally got a bit of yolk into your egg whites for a meringue? That's okay, I saw today on "Uh Oh" that Jacob did the same thing, and set fire to the same towel twice. Something like CakeWrecks, but about me personally. Since then, however, I've had a change of heart (and apparently self-esteem).

As I've been in the kitchen more and more, I've learned to re-purpose my mistakes. And sometimes re-re-purpose them.

Yesterday, I had a plan to make this cute little individual sized layer-cakes. The cakes baked up fine, but the frosting was giving me issues. I've made it plenty of times before, but yesterday it was just off for some reason. So, when I went to frost my cakes and realized my icing was too soft, I thought "No big deal, I'll just make cake pops." Ohh, Jacob, how naive. So when those, too, were runny and soft, I was at a loss. Until inspiration struck. And inspiration only struck because I was torn between making cake and making ice cream. So, I added a bit of cream and milk and pulled out my ice cream maker, Ol' Reliable. I've never yet made anything in it which wasn't tasty. And Ol' Reliable didn't fail me this time either. After 10 minutes or so of churning I had a thick, creamy, somewhat spongy dessert which reminded me of frozen mousse.

Was this dessert exponentially less healthy than ice cream? Yeah, it definitely was. Was it a great way to use what otherwise would have been garbage? Most assuredly. Would I make it again? Yes, if I had the recipe.

And that's why today's post contains no recipe. By that point, I was just hoping to salvage something edible, not something blog-worthy. But I wanted to share my story anyway, to encourage some of you to think outside the box when things go awry. You could come up with something great.

Do you have a kitchen disaster story you'd like to get off your chest? My comments section is always available for (food-related) therapy.

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